I’d like to thank the troll on the previous post for giving me the motivation to post again so soon. This one’s for you, buddy.

So when we last left our insipid heroine, she was locked in an F-grade horror film- I mean basement, and the door mysteriously locked itself. Now I’ve recovered from laughing, let’s move on.

Rose continues on in Dead Before Credits tradition by calling out “is someone mucking about?” Come on, lady. Don’t you know that’s like the ringtone on the Grim Reaper’s pager? True to form, as soon as she moves past some dummies, one moves with an incredibly loud squeak. Alerted, she turns, and the Auton peeks out of the shadows. It’s probably just me here, but does anyone else mentally hear the Auton speak with the voice of that Scottish guy from The IT Crowd when it leans over?

“Hullo there!”

Rose is determined… to be a blonde body statistic of the movie’s villain, it seems, as she continues to spout classic lines blondes inevitably loose in this situation, including old chestnuts “You got me, very funny” and “Right, I got the joke”.

“Who’s idea was this, then? Was it Derek’s?” Oh please God, Doctor, PLEASE appear and save us from pointless references to characters we’ll never see, let alone care about. The Autons start surrounding her, with Rose insistent on getting every blonde cliché in the book into this scene by tripping over backwards. Luckily RTD has at least some sense in not having her scrabble away on the floor like the thousands of her predecessors have done since the dawn of the slasher movie. No, instead she begins getting up, and teleports about a foot away. Why does she not use this power of bad editing to escape? Maybe she can’t teleport through walls or something.

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I’ve been humming and ha-ing about posting this for over two weeks now. Although I’m only a few minutes into the episode, I’ve already written over 1500 words. At that rate, it’ll take forever. So, I’m going to post what I have so far, and then if there’s enough of a response to it, I’ll continue on. Please, if you want to see more, leave a comment. I won’t know otherwise.

Now though, the post:

Russell T Davies: Bond Villain

Ah, Russell T Davies. What can you say about him? He’s possibly the most controversial behind-the-scenes figure in Doctor Who history. On the one hand, he took a long dead TV series and turned it into one of the BBC’s biggest hitters. On the other, he writes stories that, while appearing to be perfectly good stories on the surface, completely fall apart when given any level of scrutiny. Then factor in Doctor-worship, his story-trumps-rules approach or convoluted finales to add to the list of weaknesses. Hell, let’s not even talk about his overuse of gay or bisexual characters to make a Star Trek-esque statement on acceptance of different sexual orientations. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a noble goal, but when almost every story has a male or female character mention in passing they have a partner of the same gender, it gets extremely irritating.

But, what of the early days?

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You people…

You people and your fast computers… It’s just perfect for you, ISN’T IT?! Runs like a dream… No worries… But you don’t know, man! You weren’t there!

You weren’t there…

Y’know, I wish someone else would review these games. I really do. As I mentioned in City of the Daleks, my 2005 laptop just isn’t built to handle a 2010 game. So, I have to sit through the opening titles for three minutes (I timed it), because it advances frame by frame every other second. I have to sit in total silence, watching the opening credits in ultra-slow-mo, for three full minutes. That may not seem like a long time to you, but trust me, it’s an eternity.

But no, it’s up to me and my craptacular PC to enter hell once more.

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At least Matt Smith was brilliant

Well, the finale has come and gone and the season has finally reached its end. It was a good run, and overall I was blown away at how much better this series has been than the ones that preceded it. Our own Luke Pietnik just posted his thoughts on the finale, and gave it an overall stellar review. His review expresses sentiments similar to those I’ve heard elsewhere. But I’ll be honest: the finale left me cold. At first I felt like the only person in the universe who didn’t like it, but eventually I found a few who shared my objections.

I have been trained thanks to years of spectacular RTD disappointments to keep my mouth shut regarding my dissenting opinions, so I really don’t feel like going into it myself, but thankfully there were others who summed up my objections pretty well.

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From their humble beginnings in the fan community, Nicholas Briggs and his Whovian chums have come so very far. Big Finish continue to produce some of the greatest audio dramas ever, and aren’t showing any signs of letting up yet. As well as their long-standing monthly Doctor Who range, they have also branched-out into other areas, creating original, spin-off and tie-in series.

I think one of the key factors in the success of Big Finish Productions’ output is the quality of the writing. Every story the company produces seems to be lovingly polished and worked into a tight, presentable product, helping along the rest of the production process. Those guys have always pushed the envelope, delivering rich stories with unconventional plot twists and characters. The Doctor Who Unbound range is a case-in-point. Each of these stories presents a possibility that is interesting because of its desire to be unpredictable and brave, taking us out of our comfort zone.

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