For some reason, the capture software I used to get screengrabs decided to render a busy cursor that wasn't there when I played...

If you have seen my Twitter page, which is very unlikely, you will have already seen my one word review of Doctor Who – The Adventure Games Episode 1: City of the Daleks, a strong contender for Least Wieldy Game Title Ever, up against such fare as Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Attractive People Episode 4 – Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective. If not, I’ll paraphrase it for you: “AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!!!”

And now, a slightly more erudite review.

Before I start, I should point out that many problems I have with CotD are not anyone’s fault but my own. See, I make a point to only play games several years old, so my creaky 2005 laptop doesn’t have an aneurism over trying to play a game designed for 2010 PCs. However, as we are talking about a game described as an additional episode to Series 5/1/31/Fnarg/Whatever, I decided to ignore the BBC website’s warning that my processor was not man enough to take on the dizzying heights of a freebie adventure game. Therefore, playing with a frame rate that would make a flipbook drawing sneer did nothing but exacerbate problems.

...as well as not rendering some things I distinctly remember being there.

Also, after completing it in a single infuriating afternoon, it was after I mentally wrote this review that the BBC then seemed to psychically detect what I was about to write, and immediately turned around and said “Oh yeah, it’s a beta”. You know what? Screw you. I was not told that when playing or evaluating, so this, BBC, is what happens when you release a beta without saying it’s a beta. I don’t want to see any comments claiming my issues with CotD have been fixed in the final version, if you trick me into thinking a beta is the final release, I’ll treat the beta as if it were final, as that was what it was called when I downloaded it.

With that said, the review.

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I came to a new realization about the Stargate franchise this morning that I wanted to share, primarily after reading a new interview with Joe Flanigan (John Sheppard on Stargate Atlantis) on GateWorld. It seems so clear that I’m surprised I never fully connected the dots before now: the producers of the Stargate franchise have become spoiled and impulsive, and sooner or later it may be the death of the franchise.

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So, a new era of Doctor Who history is dawning. And with a brand new production team, Doctor and companion, comes the inevitable new logo. So far, this redesign has rather divided fan opinion. Those who are passive towards it (including our very own Mr. Stewart) claim it brings nothing new to the table. That it is bland and unoriginal, and that the emblem that goes with it is rather naff. However, I think it works.

The very key to its appeal lies in the fact that it is unremarkable. It’s functional; it’s sleek and not at all garish. I’m already picturing in my mind the various bits of merchandise we’ll be seeing in 2010, marvelling at how great the logo looks on those DVD covers and action figures. It is basically a re-working of the 60s logos, with some of the metallic sheen that the TV movie version had. The emblem, I can only assume, will become the new Doctor Who watermark, an identifiable badge, if you will. I’m all for that, if only because it’ll look nice on the book spines

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Having bashed ‘Delta and the Bannermen’ to hell a few weeks ago, you’ll probably be expecting me, whilst reviewing this, the ‘Remembrance of the Daleks’ special edition DVD, to angrily remove both discs from their case and Frisbee them out of a nearby window. You can, however, relax. This 1988 adventure is the shining jewel in the crown of Doctor Who’s twenty-fifth season. Although it does have faults, ‘Remembrance’ is helped along by a first-class script, some ingenious set design and a stellar cast.

This story marks one of the few occasions during the period on which factors during the production generally gelled. Ben Aaronovitch’s script seems to nail not only the Doctor’s characterisation, but that of most of the other characters, too. There’s a depth to the narrative, an undertone of darkness and manipulation that is sadly misplaced during the course of Ben’s season twenty-six story, ‘Battlefield’. Much like many of the worst Doctor Who stories, ‘Remembrance’ is the product almost of a series of coincidences. The environment in which the series was produced during the late 1980s was rather confused and hap-handed. However, on occasion, the production team would create something marvellous.

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The latest Torchwood offering, Children of Earth, has been something of a mixed bag. In typical Russell T Davies fashion, the main story involves a catastrophic event affecting the entire world all at once, which is directly witnessed by virtually everyone in the world. Gone are the small scale stories of old; as RTD is so fond of pointing out, no one in this day and age could possibly care about a story unless it strikes close to home, right? In this case, all the children of the world begin speaking a single message: “we are coming.”

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